Want to understand Romans? Go to Arby's.'

Tonight the Spirit unpacked a single sentence in Romans 2 that has truly transformed the way that I read and understand Romans. Let's jump in.

Romans is a book that has always been a bit nebulous to me. I read Romans when I want to 'feel spiritual'.

And by 'feel spiritual', I mean read a bunch of fancy sounding Christian talk that goes right over my head. All the while I'm letting out some real good 'mmmm's whilst shaking my head in a solemn fashion, and making the pages of my Bible look like some piece of abstract art with my various scribbles, underlined phrases, and array of highlighted verses in various colors (and yes I have the obnoxious neon ones too). Sometimes I feel like I get more highlighter on my fingers than actual understanding into my head and heart from what the text of Romans.

Tonight was different.

Let's start with the last sentence of Romans 2:29, "Such a man's praise does not come from men but from God" (NIV). This is a phrase that lovers understand.

Here's what I mean...

Talk is cheap right? So when I want to show my wife that I love her, I do something for her. Romantic fun and games is not necessarily my point here. I am talking boring old house chores. I know my wife well enough that if she comes home to a clean kitchen, folded laundry, and a neat living room, she feels like a million bucks - she feels supported, cared for, and special. She feels loved.

And her natural response is to "praise" me.

Before we move forward, we need to think about the word 'praise' for a moment. What immediately comes to mind when I say the word 'praise'? How would you define that word in a single sentence? Go ahead and try it.

Within the Christian culture, not always but generally speaking, the term 'praise' means whatever happens between you and God when the music is turned on at church. God + music = praise? How does one 'praise' God, really?

What does that even mean?

The word 'praise' literally means, "to approve" or "to adore" someone. It really has nothing to do with music. Music can provide a setting where we can interact with God but it is not an appropriate context for understanding or defining 'praise'. Let's return to the analogy above.

When I do something for my wife, I am really wanting her praise or her approval but not in a selfish way. I clean up the kitchen and I genuinely want her to feel loved. Her natural response is to then 'praise' me. Sometimes it is out loud with a, "Wow! Thank you!" Sometimes it's a quieter or more intimate praise she gives me with a gesture, a touch, a certain look, or a smile. 'Praise' is really about being recognized, affirmed, and loved.

And my desire for her praise is not a malignant or selfish desire. It is the natural and good desire that we all have to enter in the natural order of love and relationship that God has created for us. It is so energizing and empowering to love my wife and then in turn to be acknowledged by her, to be approved by her, to be adored by her -- to be loved by her.

This is not that happens only between the betrothed. In all of our relationships, we give love and strive (both knowingly and unknowingly) to win the approval, recognition, attention, and love of those we interact with. I think it's the same way with God too.

The opposite or abuse of this order is painted clearly in Romans 1:18-31. When we try to short-circuit and cut corners on God's template for relationship by taking instead of giving or when we abuse, harm, and hate in some perverse attempt to increase our own 'happiness' or feeling of self-worth or self-love by cutting others down or acting out in ways that are contrary to love. That's when we cease to be humans and fail to function in right relationship, i.e. we are ‘given over’ to unnatural and harmful ways of engaging relationship.

And I am not just talking about sexual issues which everyone thinks about when they read this passage. There are only four or five comments on 'unnatural' relationship issues with regards to sexual activity or orientation (v24-27). There are over 20 references with regards to how we treat God and others. Have you slandered someone at work? Hurt someone, God, or yourself because of your inability to part with your cash? Envious of the new grill your buddy has? Ever been a butt-face to your mom and dad? Ever been heartless, cruel, or faithless? Sounds like me sometimes or a-lot-a-times.

So, in Romans 1 we are told about a group of 'God-haters' (1:30) that obviously haven't got a clue as to what right relationship with God means. But Romans 2 fires a hot volley into the lap of the religious (i.e. you and me) that says, "And don't think you know or do any better because you don't!" (Romans 2:1, slight paraphrase).

Let's back up and look at the verses preceding v29 to really understand the heart of Romans 2. There is a rising tension in Chapter 2 swirling around obedience to God’s law that crescendos in verses 28-29: "A man is not a Jew if he is only one outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, no by the written code..."

The crux of v28, and the whole second chapter in my opinion, is that it doesn't matter what we 'do' physically. Nothing acted out physically brings us closer to God. It is only if those physical acts spring out of a natural overflow and right relationship with the Father.

Good lovers understand this. Not just spousal lovers but good friends too. We honor, love, adore, and praise our respective loved ones in various ways and outpourings and they (naturally) adore us, praise us, and love us in return. This is the natural and spiritual exchange of relationship that makes life meaningful and wonderful, i.e. to love and be loved.

Obedience only means something to God within the framework of a natural and loving relationship. If I make every Wednesday ‘flower-for-my-wife-day’ and give her a flower every Wednesday because it’s Wednesday and that’s what I do on ‘flower day’, I have accomplished nothing. It’s mechanical, ritualistic, and in essence just a behavior pattern, which is just like religion (i.e. behavior patterns) instead of relationship. Giving to her from love, to enjoy her pleasure, and to be loved in return is ENTIRELY different from the ritual buying and mechanical placement of a flower from my hand into hers.

To read my Bible, pray, give to the poor, father the fatherless, defend truth, mourn, be merciful, or turn my cheek is not about 'doing the right thing' or 'fulfilling my Christian duty' but is about a meaningful and real transaction between God and me. In fact you can even destroy the most intimate part of your body in an effort to be apart of the 'God club' and it can be meaningless (Romans 2:28-29.) That's right, chopping off a bit of your wanker was all for naught. Nice.

Being a Christian is to walk, to dance, to laugh, to cry, to talk with God. It is about knowing His voice and interacting in a meaningful and real relationship with Him. Our physical 'acts' of righteousness as determined by the Scriptures are not a series of abstract standards to fulfill but are natural outpourings of a dynamic and real relationship with the complete masculine and complete feminine heart and person of God.

When we literally walk and talk with God in such a way, our obedience moves beyond the rituals of ‘flower day’ and into an exchange between lovers.

A story to illustrate…

I was sitting in the front of Arby’s once when ‘it’ walked in. Something of a cross between a he and a she walked through the door decked out in a green hoodie, a pair of tan slacks, and some flip flops. The slacks were completely unzipped thus exposing a grand fat pad that encompassed her body and was protruding in such a fashion that it held her pants up. Thankfully the exposed fat pad was shielded with the some extra-large granny panties.

I chuckled to myself as I made fun of what I ultimately assumed was a woman due to the general shape of the body and the long monster hair she was sportin’. I was waiting for my sandwich as she sat down in the back. Several minutes later the woman abruptly stood up and began to exit the restaurant but not before digging through the trash can right across from my table. She pulled out a half empty cup of soda and slurped down the rest of it.

Immediately I was humiliated and convicted by the Spirit for my attitude against this woman. She was obviously homeless and suffered from some type of mental disorder. As I watched her leave Arby’s and walk beside the highway, my heart was shattered for this woman.

Moments later they called my number, I grabbed the sandwich, and ran after her without thinking. I caught up to her and told her that she had forgotten her sandwich. She gave me a bewildered look and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and say, “That’s what they said at the counter. They said it was yours.” She smiled a small smile of broken teeth, took the sandwich, and walked away. (I told a lie so as to not humiliate her further. Receiving hand-outs is buck-naked embarrassing, if you didn't know.)

As I shuffled back to Arby’s something happened between God and me. In my heart and in my being I felt and received God’s forgiveness and grace. I felt the intense compassion Jesus has for people of poverty and loss. And what little love and joy was in my heart I gave back to Him.

There was no music. And nothing was said. But I wept as something intimate and very real was exchanged between the Father and little ol’ prideful, sinful, Romans-Chapter-1-me.

Such, is the ‘praise’ of God.